It’s been awhile since I’ve rambled on these pages. I made it through another Christmas, a pageant and candle light service, and into the new year. Somehow, I cannot help but shake a feelig of apathy. I love the youth, the children, and the relationships, but as the days grow longer again so does the sinking feeling about programs. I’m just not a program guy. If I could gie it all up and just meet with people I think I’d be about a thousand times happier. or maybe I could do arts and crafts ad games, but get to be spontaneous. The church is the antispontaneus. Seriously. Every where I turn there is something else that needs to be done well in advance, planned out for parents and adults that could do it for themselves but choose not to. I want to empower, to release to freedom, but I’m bloody exhausted and want to rest. Maybe it’s in the land of la la, or a day of library. maybe it’s a scotch and a run. Or maybe it’s the desire to get them to change. Some day it will work. Someday I’ll have moved on and they will have too. Hopefully both of us to the benefit of one another. So my title: apathy. I don’t want it, but I feel it. And with it I feel a lurking guilt…yes, tomorrow I’ll get up and get in the saddle again, rewrite the emails, make the calls, clean the classrooms, and start the cycle all over again.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind but now I see…
Amen.
